Corrupt a wish!

Granted but youre the apple pie from the set of the first American Pie (I hope you get the reference)

I wish I hadn't gotten fired today

 
Granted, but your boss rapes you every day.

I wish autocorrect would friggin help me not make my colleagues firm...

(Problem is, there are to many fine women where we go :P  )

 
Granted, but auto-correct also translates the worlds into old Latin meaning you have no idea what you are typing.

I wish I had control of all the soldiers you failed dictators had and got them to destroy all my enemies, these soldiers are loyal to me and will do me no harm, they are an unstoppable force that can not be corrupted, they can not die, they will complete their mission to destroy all of Caesar enemies.

 
Augustus Caesar said:
Granted, but auto-correct also translates the worlds into old Latin meaning you have no idea what you are typing.

I wish I had control of all the soldiers you failed dictators had and got them to destroy all my enemies, these soldiers are loyal to me and will do me no harm, they are an unstoppable force that can not be corrupted, they can not die, they will complete their mission to destroy all of Caesar enemies.
Click to expand...
Granted, but in a strange out if body experince they rip your body to shreds,meanung your forever stuck in an out of body Experience 

I wish I could control a country that was incorruptible and I was incorruptible.

 
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Granted, but both you and your country are inherently corrupt anyway.

I wish i was the wish everyone wished for, always.

 
Granted, but all of the wishes that everyone wished for was always corrupted into something unexpected.

I wish the Earth was two times smaller than it is.

 
WTF: Granted, but magically only you are affected and you live a far worse life than you're currently living.

I wish the earth was 10x larger, the planet was still very much liveable, and all the extra space was for me and my kin.

 
Lmao, that answer made no sense, haha.

Granted! However, you didn't know that if you increased the size of Earth by 10, you also increase it's gravitational pull. This rapid growth caused Earth's moon to crash into Earth, causing an immense explosion that killed that vast majority of life on Earth. Plus, the gravity is so great that any surviving organisms suffocate immediately, since all the oxygen has ascended too high in the atmosphere for them to breathe, and they obviously aren't adapted to the force enough to move.

I wished I had five golden rings.

 
(Your answer did not take into account the part of my wish that said "the planet was still very much liveable")

Granted, they melt on your fingers as soon as you put them on though ;)

I wish i had a nice cake with a carrot stuck on top lol

 
Granted, but the carrot is actually a bomb placed by the rogue John McCain and my FORMER colleagues.

I wish I had great incorruptible wishes so that I could feel more amazing than ever before.

 
Granted, but you also gain an arch-enemy who always knows how to counter-act all of your wishes before you make them.

I wish I had 572 packaging peanuts.

 
Granted, but they are improvised explosive devices created by John McCain... you perish in the explosion.

I wish the terrorist John McCain (who is a terrorist in RL) was brought to Justice.

 
Granted, just this once but he (assuming it's a he) defeats you just about every other time.

I wish i had the power to bring my grandiose ideas to reality, perfectly. 

 
Granted, but your grandiose ideas end up being machines of mass death, and you kill yourself along with the entire cat species.

I wish I could always defeat my arch enemy.

 
Granted, but you gain a million more who always defeat you.

I wish nobody could ever make another wish after this wish :P  

 
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Granted, but the wish itself creates a time paradox destroying the universe while creating an alternate universe were wishes can still be made.

I wish I got rid of Awesomeface and his forces.

 
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