Corrupt a wish!

Lord Darien said:
Your wish is granted, but it's me.

I wish I had a time machine so I could skip to graduation day. 
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Granted. You didn't study but traveled in time and thus failed your finals and watched the graduation from sidelines. 

I wish for more steel 

 
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Granted you only get .00001 steel per year

I wish I had an uncorrupted cup of coffee 

 
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Granted, But you drop your cup of coffee, spilling it on your nice 1,000 dollar rug.

I wish the nations who are at war with me would attack me.

 
Granted, but they pose no actual challenge to you - so you're stuck in a tailspin of boredom. 

My water is frozen, I wish it would melt so I can drink it.

 
Granted they are the best reports ever in fact they are so great you get accused of cheating and get searched in which all the remotes are found in which leads them to believe you're the craziest psychopath of all time and end up in a 3rd world crazy house where you sit and listen to justin beiber songs for the rest of your life while eating the same meal for breakfast lunch and dinner, and it tastes worse than school cafeteria food.

I wish for the ability to snap my fingers and coffee be in my hand perfectly made in a big hole free cup without any poisons. And I always get to enjoy my coffee once it's made.

 
Granted. You snap your fingers and produce the coffee you so desire. However, the ring of the coffee mug perminatly breaks your snapped fingers, meaning that you can never have that perfect coffee again. The knowledge that no other cup can satisfy you again after that one taste of the godly brew drives you to suicide.

I wish for the power to explode! (and reform again at full health at a place and time of my choosing)

 
Granted but after your first time exploding you no longer have communication with anyone or anything this drives you to kill yourself however you cannot because as part of this wish you can never die (full health) So you must live your eternity knowing all having seen all but never allowed the ability to share your experiences with anyone so you must watch as history repeats itself and thus you regret this entire wish so you go back in time to the time you wished in hopes you can send yourself a warning but it will never happen as the creator of this nightmare has not had his coffee and so you will continue on in a loop of the same decision for the rest of all eternity and once the earth is long gone you will find yourself floating in space never to see life again as there is no air to explode in space. You will from then on be another space rock floating in the universe. Enjoy!

I wish for an unlimited uncorrupted supply of the best coffee ever possibly thought of. (Choose how you grant this wish carefully) lol

:Khilafah:

 
Omg best granted wish ever!!!!!. Granted but the dog takes things sexually.....so good luck with that. Lol

I wish for more wishes

 
Granted, but all the wishes come from the immediate increase in dying children who apply for the Make-A-Wish foundation because of your wish.

I wish for a spoon.

 
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Granted, but it's the same spoon your previous owner used to take out your left eye (monkey).

I wish for victory on every front.

 
Granted but upon winning every front you realize the world is now yours and crave war all the time however it cannot be as you decimated your enemies so you must live with the knowledge that you will never go to war again and decided to break your empire in half and go to war but since you rule both sides there will never be a winner and you will kill off every human on the planet by drafting them into one side or the other and they all kill eachother through the uses of ground to air misses and nukes and atom bombs but you Remain the last human alive with nothing to rule. Enjoy!

I wish for another coffee pot so I can drink 2 cups at once

 
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