Corrupt a wish!

[Walling]

You fly... directly into space.

I wish that PT was finished.

 

[Patrick MacFarlane]

Granted but then you get in trouble and you get to have even more fun!!

I wish that Black Veil Brides would come to my house and sing

 

[Robert E Lee]

They arrive at you're house, but you have gone deaf the night before.

I wish i was in a sauna.

 

[Patrick MacFarlane]

Granted but you have a heat stroke and this allows every cell in your boy to rupture.

I wish I had a copy of the Catcher in the Rye. 

 

[Walling]

Granted, but you are arrested after trying to assassinate McCartney (It would be Lennon, but trying to stay reasonable with the living and such).

I wish I had a personal masseuse.

 

[Guest]

Granted but it's a hairy man who rubs mayonnaise all over you.

I wish i had an intelligent robot to do my bidding.

 

[Infinite Citadel]

Granted, but the robot has a lag time of 2 years so you have to be patient and have incredible foresight.

I wish Winds of Winter was released tomorrow

 

[Guest]

Granted but it's released in an ancient language that nobody can ever decipher.

I wish i had a pink elephant and a large enough room in which it can fit.

 

[Walling]

Granted, but you're financially crushed when the power bill comes in (isn't cheap to make a room like that temperate).

I wish I knew Spanish fluently.

 

[Guest]

Granted, but nobody expects the Spanish inquisition... and let's just say it didn't end well for you.

I wish i had a pet bear, i could ride bare-chested.

 

[Robert E Lee]

Granted, but you're chest is covered in honey so the bear eats you.

I wish i were a baker.

 

[Guest]

Granted, but you accidentally baked little billy who was playing hide and seek. Don't worry he made it out alive but your baking days are over!

I wish for a wish that could never be corrupted! A beautiful blue bike i could ride around in the countryside. 

- Have i broken it?

 

[Augustus Caesar]

Granted, but your un-corruptable wish of a beautiful blue bike that you could ride around in the country side corrupts the fabric of time and space destroying the universe.

I wish I had control of time.

 

[Patrick MacFarlane]

Granted but you break it the first time you try to mess with it and you destroy the space-time balance thus causing the universe to disintegrate. 

I wish I could go see my girlfriend 

 

[Robert E Lee]

Granted but you only see her for one second.

I wish my mail would arrive on time.

 

[Augustus Caesar]

Granted but its all junk mail.

I wish i had the power to rule over all of Mankind.

 

[Khilafah]

Granted, but as soon as you do their is an immediate US-led uprising that topples you and you are subjected to all kinds of sadistic torture invented by the American Government/Security forces, for the rest of your long (they have a 24/7 state of the art hospital built just for you) life. I hope you enjoy being water boarded constantly, anally hydrated, sleep deprived, extremely/extremely humiliated, placed in a coffin for days on end with insects poured over you etc

I wish had a red bike this time  

 

[Augustus Caesar]

Granted, but it has no chain.

I wished I had 1 billion pounds of Gold.

 

[Khilafah]

Granted, but the very existence of that gold leads to your immense misery and eventual insanity.

I wish i could travel through time, easily, without altering the future if i so desired.

 

[Augustus Caesar]

Granted, but you can only stay in the past for 1 minute before a time paradox kills you slowly and painfully.

I wish the Roman Empire never fell