Corrupt a wish!

[Khilafah]

Granted, but that is only true in another dimension were our planet became filled with homosexuality and bestiality for a brief time before being destroyed by a pulsar.

I wish i had some lemons, to make lemonade. 

 

[Robert E Lee]

granted, but they lemons are rotten.

I wish I had some peppers to throw in my teriyaki sauce.

 

[Khilafah]

Granted, but then you are invaded by Mexico for stealing their peppers.

I wish i secretly had a jar of Lee's teriyaki sauce, including, the stolen Mexican peppers.

 

[Augustus Caesar]

Granted, but Mexico poisoned it with ricin and anthrax killing you in a slow but extremely painful manner.

I wished I had a F-22 Raptor that i could use to fly from Americas to Europe.

 

[Khilafah]

Granted, but Russian spies hastily sabotaged your plane causing it to blow up minutes before it was due to take off. You were very horrifically wounded in the attack and you die an as-of-yet unimaginably excruciating and painfully slow death, as you were being rushed to hospital amidst the confusion of WW3, that started as a result of a dispute between NATO and Russia over Ukraine.

I wish i had the ability to influence geopolitics as i see fit, simply by thinking about it.

 

[Robert E Lee]

Granted, but you bring about the end of the world.

I wish I had a better snowblower.

 

[Walling]

Granted, but it requires uranium to fuel it.

I wish I was a surgebinder

 

[Augustus Caesar]

Granted, but the first time you use it automatically breaks it killing you.

I wish I had a lollipop.

 

[Robert E Lee]

Granted, but it is earwax flavored.

I wish I could find my lighter.

 

[Augustus Caesar]

Granted but the lighter malfunctions and explodes in your hands.

I wish I had a light-saber  

 

[Awesomeface1122]

Granted but it only works when your not in danger.

I wish I could be a super hero.

 

[Robert E Lee]

Granted, but your super power is to know things that have happened after they happened. You are the news.

I wish I owned some Weefeee.

 

[Awesomeface1122]

Granted, but it lags all day and allows viruses to destroy every device in your house.

I wish I could drive a truck.

 

[Robert E Lee]

Granted, but you never learned how to drive a truck so you cant get it to run without stalling.

I wish my Coffee wasn't stale.

 

[Awesomeface1122]

Granted, but there is poison in it that kills you by making you turn to goo on the inside.

I wish I could learn to drive a truck.

 

[Vitaris Liguritio]

Granted, but you got run over by a truck and are now paraplegic. 

I wish I could own a puppy.

 

[Jaddels]

Granted the puppy is named Lucky and he is being held by Awesomeface1122 when he is ran over by the truck. 

I wish I could teleport to places I want to go.

 

[Robert E Lee]

Granted, but you teleport your lower body into ice the first time you use it.

I wish I had a coconut.

 

[Robert E Lee]

Granted, but you turn into sleeping beauty.

I wish I had an apple pie.

 

[Guest]

Granted, but it's made of apples similar to the one the witch gave sleeping beauty and you suffer a similar fate as hawt.

I wish i had a cake; a chocolate cake.