Corrupt a wish!

[Patrick MacFarlane]

In this game,  everyone who posts  should grant the wish of the post ahead of them and then come up with a way that it could be corrupted ( in a relevant way). For example: 

<starting post > I wish I wasn't so poor

<next post> Granted but... now you're bombarded with charity requests. 

I wish I could get a new phone

<next post> ...

 

[Deus]

I wish I could get a new phone

Granted, but now your number is available to telemarketers of sexual paraphernalia.

I wish I had a new car.

 

[Robert E Lee]

Granted, but hobos can sleep in the car whenever they want.

I wish I had a cookie.

 

[Deus]

Granted, but it's covered with saliva. 

I wish I could fly.

 

[Patrick MacFarlane]

Granted, but you can only fly backwards. 

I wish I could have slept in

 

[Robert E Lee]

granted. but now you can't sleep forever.

i wish i had a toaster.

 

[Walling]

Granted, but it always burns the toast.

I wish I had a coffee tap at my desk.

 

[Sargun]

You have a coffee tap at your desk.

You are brutally murdered for your coffee tap desk.

I wish I was a baller

 

[Robert E Lee]

Granted. But you have no skills and get injured you're first game.

I wish i had a roll of sushi.

 

[Patrick MacFarlane]

Granted but you get food poisoning and almost die. 

I wish my boss wasn't a douche ( I was on the clock today as the only cook and he had me pulling up weeds behind the building around the dumpster instead of helping him with the orders)

 

[Sargun]

Granted, but you get fired because his douchiness is the only thing keeping your job.

I wish I were god

 

[Patrick MacFarlane]

Granted but now you have to deal with everyone's ungrateful prayers and a little ring in your ear every time someone takes your name in vain. 

I wish I had some pain killers

 

[Robert E Lee]

Granted, but they don't numb any pain.

I wish i had some toilet paper.

 

[Walling]

Granted, but it's 1 ply (I think that's punishment enough)

I wish that I had an updated PC

 

[Robert E Lee]

Granted, but you get a power surge first time you turn it on.

I wish i had nail clippers.

 

[Patrick MacFarlane]

Granted but the first time you use them you cut too low and pull off some skin. 

I wish I could stay home tomorrow

 

[Robert E Lee]

Granted, but you get sick and have to stay home the rest of the month.

I wish I had some pancakes.

 

[Patrick MacFarlane]

Granted but...wait for it...NO SYRUP!!!!!

I wish I could get into football like all of my friends

 

[Infinite Citadel]

Granted, you get into a football, but can't figure a way to breathe or get out of a football.

I wish I could fly